Flying Without Wings
by hentai-monkey
Summary: The man who had bought him was tall. He was a kind man with a mean face. He growled and scowled at the world, but his touches were soft. His fingers were calloused, as though they had seen a lot of work of their own. AU, KF


_Flying Without Wings_

_a/n: warnings: shounen-ai and details of love-making. Fai/Kurogane and no other pairing. it's the only pairing I condone. :D there is discussion of slavery, sex and rape, alternating bits of fluff and angst. but, you have been warned. _

_Everybody's looking for that something, One thing that makes it all complete, You'll find it in the strangest places, Places you never knew it could be. Some find it in their lover's eyes, Who can deny the joy it brings  
When you've found that special thing, You're flying without wings._

Blond hair danced in the soft breeze, the smells of spring filled his nose, making him smile as he followed the man leading him in the direction of his new hell. He didn't know what to expect, but he did know the man was fair and that he was kind.

The man who had bought him was tall. He was a kind man with a mean face. He growled and scowled at the world, but his touches were soft. His fingers were calloused, as though they had seen a lot of work of their own. He swaggered with unnatural grace that made him look off kilter and uncoordinated.

Fai smiled softly at his new master as he followed him. His body hurt, but the soft touches of the man before him had helped a little bit. The caring touches that made it seem as though somebody actually cared about him in the world. It was an impossible thing, but it was there. That somebody could actually care about him. Fai wouldn't let himself hope too much, not this time, but he couldn't help the sudden positive view he got of the world.

_The dark permeated everything. The reds became the darkened rust color of dried blood, blues became shadows hiding evil things and others eager to rip his young heart out. Fai D. Flowright, second son to the now fallen king, was running with everything his small legs could put into his stride. He was desperate to escape, just as his mother had ordered, just as his nanny had pleaded. He would survive, survive and fight, live on for them. _

_His blue eyes, large and vibrant, were muted with the tears that filled them. They spilled down his pudgy cheeks and he couldn't get them to stop. Everything he had ever known was falling apart around him. Everything he'd ever cared about was crumbling into dust around him. He was fleeing like a coward for his life while others died around him, fighting against the men invading his home. _

_The castle was starting to burn. Tar filled his nostrils as he ran, ran for his life. He couldn't think of anything but surviving. Surviving for his mother who couldn't survive. Surviving for his brother who would no longer push him into the wall and place his loving kisses all over his face. His father would never hold him high above the ground, swinging him around as he laughed his deep, rolling laughter in joy. _

_Tears spilled down his cheeks and he ran. He ran as he was ordered to do so. He was a good boy so the men wouldn't hurt him, he wasn't a bad boy, he wouldn't have to be punished._

"This is my home, which is now your home." his master was saying in a soft, deep voice. "Feel free to be at ease here. I will tell you, I bought you for pleasure. You're quarters are next to my own and if I want you, you must come to me. I don't like to punish my slaves, but you are a slave and if you disobey me, I'll punish you," he smiled.

"Yes sir," Fai nodded, bowing his head and walking as he should, following his master, his back bent as he walked, bent lower than his master was.

"Relax. What's your name?"

"My name is whatever you would like it to be, sir," Fai answered, bowing his head lower.

"That's not what I asked," his master murmured, his voice stern.

"My given name is Fai D. Flowright, sir. But I have been known by many names."

"What name would you like for me to call you?"

"Fai, sir," Fai answered.

"I'm Kurogane. I own the fields around here. This is your home. If you leave my lands, my guards will kill you on the spot. If you stay within my lands, the guards will leave you alone, unless you are summoned to my side. Do you understand? You are a slave, but as a slave, on my lands, you're free. I don't believe in working you to the death, I believe in treating you fairly to get you to do what you should do and then letting you rest. You get two days off a week, no salary, and you get breaks during the day. When you aren't with me, I'll have you working in the rooms. Cleaning, as a maid. You'll only clean in my rooms and in your own room. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Fai nodded. He couldn't believe the freedom that he would get in this place. He would be allowed to be a free man, to the extent of his limits. He could make his own decisions, his own wants, he could fulfill them if he worked hard enough for it.

"That's another thing, I don't want to be called master or anything too formal. If you address me, call me Kurogane. Kurogane, sir. That's all I need. Nothing fancy."

"Yes, Kurogane, sir."

Kurogane sighed and smiled a soft smile. Fai thought it was absolutely beautiful.

"I'm going to take you home, you can use the shower and get freshened up. I want you to be happy, but just remember, don't disobey me, okay?" Kurogane stated softly.

"Yes sir."

Fai followed after the darker man, his heart lightened by the fact that this man, this slave owner, would be so good to his servants, even the whore that he had bought today, himself.

_He had been happy as a child. He had been free, he had enjoyed everything that was allowed to his small form, and he had been happy. He ran and laughed with his brother, his parents calling for them to be careful. He had giggled as he tackled his brother to the ground, laughing as they rolled around on the floor, taking turns being the winner. _

_He had been so naïve. He had been so foolish. _

_When his home was burned, he had sought refuge with the one person he thought he could trust. A little girl, her name was Natsuko. She had been his childhood sweetheart. He was determined to do whatever it took to make her happy, whatever it took to make her smile. While he wasn't convinced that he would marry her, he wanted to always make her happy. To make sure that she was never afraid, never scared, never crying. _

_When his family had been slaughtered, he broke his vow to protect her and ran to her arms. She held him; bloodied, covered in soot, dirty, and weeping; she held him to her. She was so loving, so kind to him. He had cried even harder in her arms. _

"_Everything… everything's gone!" he cried, burying his head in the crook of her shoulder. "They killed my mom, my dad, Ashura… they killed them all and they'll be looking for me next. Help me Natsu!" he wept against her._

"_Granny!" Natsuko called. _

_Leaving Fai alone in the small room, huddled around himself, tears filling his eyes, he waited for Grandmother to come. She would help him out, she was always so kind to him. Always so wonderful and nice to him._

_He loved to visit her. She would always have a yummy new treat for him to try. She was the best baker and she made the best cakes. She would always have a cake sitting around, waiting for his childish hands to play in. Waiting for his childish hands to taste and praise her._

"_Fai," Grandmother's voice filled the small room. "I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, but it's for the best. Trust me."_

_Fai nodded, not sure what was happening, but only desperate to survive if he could. He gasped as a rope wound itself around his small form, his body protesting against the older woman._

"_Grandmother?" he murmured, raising his tear-filled eyes to the old woman. Confusion swam in them and a kind smile danced along the wrinkled face of the older woman. She merely nodded and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I don't… I don't understand," Fai whimpered._

"_You will one day, I promise."_

_Darkness filled his sight and he thought no more._

"Fai? What are you thinking of?"

"Nothing sir," Fai murmured, his eyes downcast as he stood behind Kurogane in the bathroom. The black headed man shook his head and pushed the thin blond to the tub.

"Clean yourself up and then go to my bedroom. Do you remember where it's at?"

"Yes sir."

"Don't put anything on either. Come in your towel."

"Yes sir."

Kurogane walked out of the door and Fai shrank in on himself. He was a slave, as free as a slave could be, but he was still a slave. He would have to perform tonight, little as he wanted to.

He stripped out of the plain clothing he was wearing, he had been wearing since he had been returned to market the week before. A circle of soap rested on the edge of the tub and he used it to clean his body, grateful that he could take a bath. He enjoyed the clean, warm water as it danced over his naked body. He was grateful to Kurogane for the wonderful bathroom. His previous masters had never been so kind to him.

He was amazed that he had been sold at all. He was covered in bruises. Horrid black bruises that covered his entire back, evidence of his misbehaving. He had been beaten the day before Kurogane had bought him. That's what he got for failing to live up to expectations of buyers.

As he washed himself, he let his mind wander to times when he had been less happy. When nothing had gone right for him.

"_What's wrong with you?" the deep voice of his master cried as he beat Fai._

"_I'm sorry, sir!" Fai cried, his voice filled with pain and desperation. "I'm sorry!" _

"Sorry just don't cut it anymore," the master growled.

_Fai whimpered as the master fisted his large hand in Fai's blond hair. Heaving forcefully, he pulled Fai's head back. "No more fucking excuses. Why can't you do it right?" The master was pissed. Fai could never remember a time when he was this pissed. It was all so sudden, so unexpected._

_Fai squinted his eyes shut and let the pain wash over him. If he concentrated too much on it, he would be overcome by it and would end up being lost in the beatings for disobedience. He closed his eyes and tears ran down his face. _

"_Now, I'm going to show you why I bought you," the master whispered dangerously in Fai's ear. A tremor of fear flowed through Fai's body as his master thrust himself into Fai's mouth._

"I'm so glad he didn't want me anymore," Fai whispered in the water. He rinsed off quickly, afraid that he would be punished for taking too long in the bath when he had orders to attend to. He stood and looked for his towel, grateful Kurogane had set it out for him. He dried himself off, sure to get every last bit of moisture from his body before heading to the bedroom he would be using tonight. He wrapped the towel around his waist, pretending modesty, and padded softly to the door.

With a deep sigh, he knocked on the door and waited for acknowledgement to enter the room.

"Come in," Kurogane murmured.

"Yes sir? What would you have me do today sir?" Fai asked, closing the door behind him. He looked at the floor before Kurogane's feet and tried to appear as though he didn't care.

"I want to know what you want in this house," Kurogane asked softly. "You don't have any opinion about anything, so far as I can tell."

"I just want to do my job as best I can and leave as peacefully as possible."

"That's a rather generic answer," Kurogane laughed.

"I know, but it's all I want."

"It's all _you_ want or all you've been _taught _to want?" Kurogane asked, his voice serious as he looked at the nearly naked man. "Come here, Fai."

"Yes sir?"

"I want you to be happy here. Do you understand? But, I'm not going to baby you and I'm not going to make it easy on you, I want you to work for what you want, because it's the only way to get what you want. You have to fight for it. If you don't, then you won't have the chance to get what you want. Lie down, I want to rub some salve on your back. It looked awful in the market," Kurogane murmured distractedly.

Fai, bewildered by what the lord had said to him, obeyed quietly, letting all the words sink in, he stretched out on the bed. A small sigh escaped his lips as he felt the soft bed fit to his contours.

"Do you like the bed?" Kurogane asked, happiness dancing in his voice.

"Yes sir. It's very soft. I don't ever remember feeling a bed this soft before," Fai whispered softly. He rolled his shoulders and sighed once more as he crossed his arms under his chin.

Kurogane couldn't believe it. He hadn't expected that from the thin man, spread on the bed. Yes, Kurogane knew he was a servant, a slave, a prostitute, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the finer things of life, like a soft bed. Shaking his raven-crowned head, Kurogane slowly rubbed the greenish salve onto Fai's back. He smiled at the thin man, relieved to know that he was relaxing slowly. The blond heaved a sigh and closed his eyes, peace filling his body as his new master tended to his wounds.

"Thank you very much," Fai murmured sleepily as Kurogane's hand slid over his sore back.

"I want you to be healthy. I already told you that," Kurogane answered back, trying not to let too much emotion play in his voice. He glanced down at the form and felt an intense sorrow fill him. He couldn't believe somebody would ever hit something so delicate looking. "Who was your last owner?" Kurogane asked.

"His name was not important to me. He only saw me in my room and then it was to please himself," Fai murmured spitefully. He hated talking about it. He hated talking about anything that didn't have to do with the immediate present. To talk about something that was over and done with, it was silly. To think about the past, it was painful and stupid. He didn't have to do that. He was a servant, a slut, a nothing and nobody. He didn't need a past, no matter the pain that lived in his past, he didn't need a past. It wasn't necessary.

"You mean to tell me he never told you his name?"

"No sir. I never knew his name. I was just a tool for him, that was all," Fai whispered.

"Well, you aren't just a tool here. While I'm going to use you for my own pleasure, you will find yours. I'm not going to keep you locked in a room, hidden away from everything and everybody."

"Thank you sir," Fai murmured.

"Does your back feel any better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You can sleep in here with me, I'm not going to expect anything out of you. I'll be sure to get you a softer bed in your room so that you can sleep well in your own room as well."

"I'm fine with whatever bed you have given me. I can sleep on the floor, against a wall, in a chair. It doesn't matter, sir."

"Nope, I'm going to get you a softer bed. I told you, I want you happy. But, because you're getting the soft bed, you're going to have to show me you deserve it," Kurogane whispered. "You can do that another night though. I want you to sleep and get better first. I'm not going to hurt an already hurt man."

Tears formed in Fai's pale blue eyes as he stared in front of him. Kurogane was so kind. Nobody had been that kind to him since he had become a slave. A long time he had spent in many men's bed, playing the whore, no matter what he felt. No matter what the pain he felt was. He sniffled lightly and buried his head in his arms. All of the kindness he was getting from his new master was overwhelming. He wasn't used to it. He hid his face as he cried softly in his arms.

"What's the matter?" Kurogane asked.

"It's the first time I've been treated like a normal person and not a whore in a long time," Fai sniffled. "I'm sorry sir. Please, that was uncalled for and I apologize. I won't do it anymore."

"Do what? Feel something? Cry?" Kurogane asked.

"Yes sir," Fai nodded, sitting up on his knees. He hung his head and wiped his face dry with his hands. He looked up and Kurogane wanted to hug him close. He was like a small boy who had been caught doing something wrong, and was completely devastated by it, even if it wasn't something horrible.

"You are allowed to cry. It's not against the law to cry."

"I'm a whore sir. Whore's don't cry unless there is blood and it's their own."

"Is that right? Well, if you feel the urge to cry, or laugh or scream or anything you can think of, then feel free to. I want to know who you are Fai. I don't want a whore who'll only do as asked and think only what I tell him to think."

"Yes sir," Fai sniffled, the tears returning to his blue eyes. "I'm sorry. Please, forgive me."

"You're forgiven," Kurogane whispered, hugging Fai's thin form to himself. He pressed a kiss to the man's forehead and then laid him down. "Go to sleep. You need it, ne?"

"Thank you sir," Fai murmured. He curled into a ball on the edge of the bed, as close to the nearest wall as he could get and shut his eyes. His blond hair fell in golden waves across his face.

Kurogane smiled at the form on his bed before he laid back and followed Fai into sleep.

The sun kissed the top of his head and he felt warm again. Smiling, he rolled onto his back and winced as he remembered everything suddenly. Bolting upright, he stared around him nervously, waiting for the fist that would warn him against oversleeping again.

"Good morning," a soft voice met his ears and he looked to the door to see a young woman standing in the doorway.

"Good morning, ma'am," Fai answered.

"Oh, you don't have to call me ma'am. I'm Sakura. It's nice to meet you. What's your name?"

"It's Fai, ma'am."

"You don't have to call me ma'am. I'm not any better than you are. We're equals. Especially if your father's lover," Sakura smiled.

"I'm… I'm… not his lover," Fai murmured softly. He bowed his head and looked at the crimson sheets that covered his very naked body.

"Than why are you in his bed?" Sakura asked innocently.

"Because he's my lover," Kurogane's voice murmured authoritatively.

Sakura giggled happily as she was lifted onto Kurogane's shoulders. "But, he said he wasn't!" she squealed with laughter.

"I know but that's because he's new and isn't used to saying it yet," Kurogane murmured softly as he tickled the girl mercilessly.

Her mousy brown hair flew in all directions as she giggled and squealed in his arms. She flailed her arms, the blue material of her shirt flying in the wind of her movement. "Father!" she cried.

"Dad, do you really have to do that to Sakura?" a new voice asked softly.

Fai felt embarrassment flow over him as a third person joined the group in the room. A young man walked into the room, brown hair and eyes glinting with mischief as he pulled Sakura from Kurogane's arms. Doing everything possible to make himself appear as small as possible, he shifted lower into the sheets.

"So, you're dad's new lover?" the boy asked.

"Yup, that's him!" Sakura answered.

"What's your name?"

"It's… it's Fai, sir," Fai answered softly. He refused to raise his eyes to meet anyone's gaze. He preferred to look into his lap where it was safe.

"You don't have to call me sir. I'm Syaoran. This is my wife Sakura. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you sir."

"You don't…"

"You don't have to bother with that. He's going to say it no matter what," Sakura murmured.

"It doesn't matter Sakura, okay?" Syaoran said. "I just came to get you so that we can help prepare breakfast. It's our turn, remember?"

"Oh, oh yeah!" Sakura laughed. "Let's go then darling!"

"My son, Syaoran and his wife Sakura. A bit of an airhead, but a sweetheart and one of the kindest people I have ever met before."

"They are very nice people, sir," Fai whispered softly. A blush danced on his cheeks and he looked nowhere in particular.

"They are. You should be able to get along well with them."

"What were they talking about, your lover?" Fai asked softly.

"You'll share my bed with me, you'll live with me, you'll be mine and only mine. You're my lover. I prefer not to use the term _whore_ in my home so, you're a lover of mine," Kurogane smiled. He went to his closet and pulled clothing from it. "I don't know how well these will fit, but until we can get you fitted for some clothes, it's all I've got."

"I appreciate whatever it is sir," Fai murmured. "To be given a gift from my master is special. No matter the occasion or cause."

Kurogane rolled his eyes and smiled at the thin man on his bed. "Do you have any opinion whatsoever about anything?"

"No sir. Not unless you tell me that I may. If you don't wish me to have one, then I'll not have one."

"I want you to have an opinion. I think it would be interesting to know what you think about things. You have to have an opinion about something."

"Yes, sir."

"With my son and his wife, you have to be patient with Sakura. She was in an accident not to long ago and has lost her memories. She's forgetful on occasion and there are times when she will stare off into space. Just let her be at times, okay? She's a very sweet person and she's always willing to help, so don't be afraid to ask her questions if you have any, okay?" Kurogane whispered softly.

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, say more than that. What do you like for breakfast?" Kurogane asked, throwing a white robe to Fai.

"I… I don't know," Fai whispered softly. A blush rose on his cheeks and he looked away, holding the robe in his hands.

"You don't know? Do you like pancakes?"

"I've never had any sir."

"You've never had pancakes?" Kurogane asked, incredulously.

"No, I've never had them sir."

"Alright, then we'll have pancakes this morning," Kurogane murmured. "Get dressed quickly and we'll get you fitted for clothes after breakfast. We'll go tell the kids to have pancakes for us after your dressed."

"Sir?" Fai asked softly. "Do you really mean it when you say I'm your lover?"

"I don't say anything I don't mean. If I say it, I mean it. You are my lover."

A blush covered Fai's face and tears danced in his pale blue eyes. "Thank you sir."

Shifting uncomfortably, Kurogane pulled a crimson belt of cloth out of the closet and threw it to Fai as well. "It's nothing. Nothing at all," Kurogane murmured.

'_It's nothing to you, sir, but to me, it's everything. I've never been called anyone's lover before. I've always been a slave, a whore, a slut, a toy. Never a lover. I'm moved by your admission. Thank you sir,' _Fai thought quickly.

Fai kneeled on the bed, happy to serve his master who was kind and fair. He slid his thin hands along the chest of his lover, his master, his savior. Letting his tongue slide out, he slid the muscle over the left nipple of his lover. Kurogane moaned softly as he arched his back into Fai's warm mouth. Pressing his hips against his master's, Fai pressed forward, letting him know that he would do as he was asked, that he would enjoy it. It had been so long since he had had the opportunity to enjoy himself in his job. He didn't know what to feel, he just did what he could to be with his lover, his master. Kurogane was everything. There was nothing without Kurogane.

He pressed his lips against Kurogane's lips, letting his tongue trail along Kurogane's bottom lip. Moaning softly, he let Kurogane take control, letting the larger man roll them so their positions were reversed.

Kurogane slid his hands over Fai's thin body, his tongue battling for dominance within Fai's warm mouth. He ground his hips into Fai's, rubbing their erect flesh together. Fai moaned and arched upwards, wanting more, needing more.

Kurogane, sensing his lover's need, obliged the desires of the flesh. Giving in, he made love, slowly, sensually to the thin man, the same way he did every time they joined. He was always careful, tender so as not to remind the thin blond of his previous masters. He didn't want to frighten, he didn't want to hurt. He was a kind man, he didn't want to be anything other than that. Not to this man who had had nothing but pain in his life.

Fai moaned as Kurogane penetrated his tight entrance. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck, moving his hips in synch with Kurogane's thrusts. Not wanting to deprive his lover, Kurogane wrapped a large hand around Fai's erect flesh, pumping his hand up and down, bring his lover closer to completion, closer to fulfillment. It shocked him to know that he was the first to ever bring Fai completion, the first to fill Fai as only a lover could.

His thrusts became more frantic as he neared his completion. As his thrusts increased, so did his hand's movements along Fai's length. Shuddering, Fai cried out in pleasure as he came onto their stomachs. His clenching muscles pulled Kurogane over the edge he was hanging precariously onto, and he released himself inside the tight opening.

Relaxing and laying beside the blond, Kurogane pulled himself free before wrapping his strong arms around the thin man. Fai was panting, his pale body flushed with pleasure that ran rampant through him. He shook as he snuggled into Kurogane's chest, sighing as he closed his eyes and drifted off.

It was dark outside. Within the halls of the house, there was silence. The children had taken off and the two men were left alone in the house. They sat in companionable silence in the bedroom they shared more often then not and stared out the window at the dancing heavens. Fai had been in the home for almost six months, he had been the lover of his master, for six months. Soon, soon he would be in the house of one man for the longest ever. He had never been in one home for more than six months, he was almost comfortable, but he was afraid.

"I was married once," Kurogane murmured in the silence. His eyes were misted over as he looked back into the past.

"You were married?" Fai asked. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah. She was a fine woman. Sweet, loving, compassionate and everything you could ever want in a wife. She gave me my son too."

"Syaoran?"

"Yeah. My only child," Kurogane smiled.

Standing, Kurogane moved to stand before Fai's thin form. He wrapped his thick arms around Fai's shoulders, hugging the smaller man close.

"Kurogane, sir?" Fai asked.

"I was always a tyrant. I used to be the bloodiest person around. And then, I married Tomoyo. She taught me how to be kind. She's the reason why we're all happy now."

"But you aren't, sir?" Fai asked softly as he wrapped his long arms around Kurogane's waist.

"I miss her still," Kurogane mumbled.

"That's good. That means you love her still," Fai smiled even though he felt as if he were betraying himself.

"I suppose your right. But," Kurogane shrugged. He unwrapped himself from Fai.

"But what sir?"

"Nothing."

Fai turned his blue eyes up to glance nervously at Kurogane. He didn't get to see this side of his master very often and when he did, Kurogane was so handsome. The pain contorted his face as his eyes turned to the past. His nearly crimson eyes danced with the pain he felt and Fai just wanted to make it go away.

"Do you want me to leave you?" Fai asked softly, bowing his head as he rose.

"I don't want to lose another one," Kurogane whispered, his voice far away.

"Then I won't leave you," Fai smiled, wrapping his arms around Kurogane. "Will you tell me how she died?"

"It was… it was my fault."

_Long black hair danced in the water around her small form. She laughed, her quiet voice rang in his ears._

"_You know," Tomoyo murmured, wrapping her thing arms around Kurogane's neck. "When our parents arranged this marriage, I hated them for it. But now, now I don't. I'm glad its you and I. I don't think I could be happy with anyone else."_

"_You're right. I spent a few months plotting about ways to make you leave before you came," Kurogane laughed._

"_Come now. You must be worn out. Let's get you dried and into the bed, husband."_

_Kurogane nodded and she pulled him out of the water. She giggled as he splashed her and stepped out of the tub. Tomoyo wrapped a warm towel around his shoulders and pushed him to the door. "Dry off," she ordered as she wrapped a towel around her long hair and one around her body._

_Pretending to pout, Kurogane dried himself off and followed her to their bedroom._

"_So, how many men today, my love?" Tomoyo asked, holding their door open._

"_Just one faction. They were trying to overthrow us again, but I killed them off, so there is no problem."_

"_What did they have against us?" Tomoyo asked, dressing in a pale purple robe._

"_They just have something against the upper class, against us warriors. We aren't really a favored group here," Kurogane smiled._

"_Well, I'm going to go check on Syaoran and then I'll be right back for you, okay?" Tomoyo asked softly._

"_Okay. Give the kid a kiss for me."_

_Tomoyo smiled and kissed him lovingly on the lips before heading toward her son's room._

"And the next thing I knew, I was a widower with an infant son and the servants, well, some of them, were revolting," Kurogane murmured.

Fai glanced at him, proud to know he was sharing this with a slave and was surprised to see tears dancing in Kurogane's eyes.

"The ones kept by Tomoyo were the ones who protected my son. Who protected me. They were the ones I didn't kill."

"So, you're afraid that it will happen again. That you'll fail your family and the slaves'll kill them?"

"I am a warrior. A commander of an army. I am afraid of nothing more than losing my son," Kurogane murmured.

"I will protect you and your son, sir," Fai whispered.

"And why would you do that?"

"Because you have shown me kindness I thought I would never see again," Fai said very simply. "Because you have restored my pride in myself, even though I am your personal slave."

Kurogane turned his head away. "I'm not a saint. That was Tomoyo," he murmured. "I use you. That's all. I feel no personal attachments to anyone I own," he stated softly.

He placed a soft kiss on Fai's temple and murmured, "I'm going to bed. You can join me if you want or you can go to your own room. You're free for the night."

"Can I ask a bold question sir?" Fai whispered. He hid his eyes so he wouldn't have to show Kurogane the pain in them as he held back unshed tears. Kurogane admitting no personal bonds to anyone hurt, and he didn't know why.

"Sure."

"Can you hold me tonight? If I lay in your bed, would you hold me as… as if you care?"

"Come on then," Kurogane smiled, holding his hand out to Fai.

"Thank you sir."

_The screaming. The sounds of screaming wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't the screaming stop?_

_He lifted his blue eyes, desperate to find the screaming and stop it. He didn't want to listen to it anymore and his head was pounding. _

"_Wh-where am I?" he stuttered, his eyes gazing into black nothingness._

"_You're about to be taught what you need to know."_

"_I'm in school. I have school in the morning. I learn there," he cried. His tears fell warmly down his cheeks and he squirmed, only to be greeted by the clanking of chains around his form, wrists and ankles._

"_You don't have to go to school anymore," the low voice murmured, a thin finger tracing a path down his cheek._

_And suddenly, he understood the screaming. Somewhere in the room, somebody else was being treated the same way. A wordless scream ripped from his lungs as he fought against the thin hand caressing his face._

"_Now, now. There's no need for those screams."_

_Fai could think of nothing except to scream. Natsuko, Grandmother, they had done this to him. They had put him here. He fought against the chains, wringing his body left and right._

"_Shut the fuck up!" the voice yelled, a hand punctuating the order._

_Fai whimpered and hung loosely against the chains. He was only nine. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be at home, playing tag with Ashura. Desperately, he opened his mouth and screamed his brother's name._

"Ashura!" Fai cried, bolting upright in the bed.

Immediately his face flushed in embarrassment as Kurogane stared at him, his large hand missing under the pillows he had been resting on.

"What happened?" he asked in a steady voice.

"I'm sorry sir," Fai murmured. "I'm sorry. It was just a nightmare. Nothing more. Please, forgive me for waking you."

"What was the dream about? You've got tears on your face, you're shaking and who is Ashura?"

"You aren't a head warrior for nothing," Fai whispered. "Please, don't make me tell you. Not yet anyway. I'm sorry for waking you up. I'm going to go. I'll sleep in my room."

"No you're not. You can stay here," Kurogane said. He brought his hand out from beneath the pillow and wiped Fai's cheek off.

Desperate for the kind touches, Fai leaned into the caress, his eyes slid closed as he enjoyed Kurogane's kind touches.

"I want to know what you're dreaming about. Before bed tonight, you will tell me. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," Fai whispered.

"Lie back down. If it happens again, I'm here. Just remember it's only a dream."

"You're good at this," Fai murmured softly as Kurogane pulled the thinner man against him, spooning their bodies together. The steady beating of Kurogane's heart was soothing him back into an unsteady sleep.

"Syaoran used to get nightmares. I had to learn how to beat them so my son could sleep."

Fai didn't answer. His blue eyes had already drifted closed and he was fast asleep.

"Are you happy with me being here?" Fai asked.

"Of course I am. Have I ever said that I wasn't?" Kurogane asked.

"I was just wondering."

"Why? What's on your mind?"

"I've never been in one place for so long. It's hard to think that I could be in one place for so long. It's hard to think that anyone would want me around for so long."

"I don't want you to leave. You're my lover, remember. I don't want you to leave. If your going to leave, you had better not let me find you. I'm a jealous man, you know that," Kurogane smiled.

"I know sir. It's just, I haven't been in one place for so long. Not since I was a child."

"Well, now you are. I don't want you to leave."

"Thank you," Fai whispered softly. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's waist and nuzzled close to the taller man.

_Black fists raised angrily, pinning his neck to the headboard. He tried to gasp air into his lungs as he was pounded into, thrust after forceful thrust. _

"_Don't you enjoy it?" a husky voice panted._

"_Y-yes ma-mas… master," Fai gasped._

_The grip around his neck tightened as the thrusts became more forceful. Black spots danced across his vision when he felt the release within him. The grip was loosened and was quickly followed by punches to his side, his arms, his chest, and his stomach._

_Coughing, Fai felt blood pooling in his mouth. He struggled to swallow it as he gasped with each punch. The last time he'd gotten blood on the bedclothes, he'd been beaten and chained to a wall in front of a bed, left there for a month._

_Spots of light danced in the increasing darkness of his vision as he choked on the metallic liquid. His head was lifted and thrown against the headboard. _

_The bed shifted and Fai was blissfully left alone. Hot tears leaked from his squinted eyes. He sighed in relief as a trickle of blood slipped from the corner of his mouth._

"Fai?" Kurogane asked hesitantly. The thin man had fallen asleep in his arms and was softly moaning, pain filling his mind as he tried to sleep fitfully in his arms. Six months in a peaceful home and still the nightmares lingered on the edge of his mind. Fai whimpered before his pale blue eyes opened.

"I'm sorry master," he whimpered, tears falling freely.

"No, no your not. I'm not whatever it was in that dream. I'm Kurogane. I'm not whomever it was. Who was it? What was it?" Kurogane asked softly, his arms tightening around Fai's body.

"It was… it was from a long time ago," Fai sobbed. "A long time ago."

"What was it?"

"It was a dream of something that should have never happened but did anyways."

"Fai, talk to me," Kurogane asked softly.

"I don't… please sir, don't make me talk about it right now," Fai whispered.

"Fai. We've been together for a long time now, haven't we?" Kurogane asked one night, wrapping his arms around the smaller form, his left hand lazily stroking the naked chest of his lover.

"Yes, we have," Fai murmured. He was content to just lay within Kurogane's arms, letting his master own him in every way, heart, body, and soul. He was happy, laying with his master, happy hugged close to the dark man who had never mistreated him.

"Fai, I want to free you. I don't want to own you anymore. I want you to be my equal. I want you to be my lover, of your own free will," Kurogane murmured, leaning up on his elbows to look down into the depthless eyes that seemed to suck him in.

"What? You want to what?" Fai asked softly, his voice shaking with the emotions he was being assaulted with.

He couldn't allow himself to hope for something so good. Something so unreal. Shaking on the bed, his body covered by the larger man above him, he felt like he could fly. Anything would be possible. Wrapping his thin arms around Kurogane's neck, he pressed his lips firmly against his former master's.

"I want you to be free. I want you to be happy and free. That's all," Kurogane murmured, his lips dancing along Fai's lips. Straddling the man below him, he groaned softly as he pressed himself against Fai.

"I… I…" he couldn't complete the thought out loud. He would not ruin the moment. He would not ruin the perfect unity they shared. He would not ruin it.

Giving into Kurogane's urges, Fai bent his knees and gave him access to his body. In his mind, though he couldn't voice it, he could more than freely voice his thoughts, _'I love you, I love you, I love you,'_ he repeated over and over in his mind. His body was taken once more and he found, he didn't mind it at all.

"Good morning," Kurogane murmured, pressing his warm lips against Fai's cool brow. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did, sir. Thank you," Fai answered softly, smiling at the small gestures of affection.

"You don't have to call me sir. You're my equal now. I freed you last night, so you don't have to call me anything you don't want to call me."

Tears filled Fai's blue eyes and he couldn't stop them from falling from his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you," he repeated, wrapping his arms around Kurogane.

"I wanted to. I'm not supposed to be attached to any of my slaves. I want you to be mine. I want you to be more to me then my slave. So, you're free. Free to be whomever you want to be, free to be my lover, without having to be told and without being my slave."

"Thank you so much," Fai murmured, pressing his lips firmly against Kurogane's. "I have no home other than this one and no family other than yours. But it's important to me that I'm free."

"Home is this house. Home is this bed, my arms. Home is me."

Fai couldn't respond. He could only smile at his former master, at his new lover and let the tears fall down his face. _'Please, say it. Tell me you love me, please?'_ he begged in his mind.

"Fai, I want you to stay with me. As my lover, as my partner and my equal, I want you to stay with me. I… Fai, I love… I love you," Kurogane murmured softly, his cheeks painted a pale blush.

Smiling, tears fell down Fai's face as he sat up, moving to straddle the taller man before he whispered into Kurogane's ear, "I love you, Kurogane."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that," the darker man whispered, wrapping his arms around Fai's naked torso. He hid his face in Fai's flesh, letting his nose inhale the scent that belonged to Fai and Fai alone.

Fai looked into the sun, ignoring every lesson he'd ever had that had advised against looking into the fireball. He didn't care if he lost his eyesight. He didn't even need it anymore. He was a man who was being taken care of. He was a man with a lover who would give his life in exchange for his own. He was a free man, free to just sit around the rest of his life, free to be anything and anyone he wanted to be.

Sighing heavily, Fai stood and moved to the ends of the fields, the end of Kurogane's lands. The end of his home. He wanted to leave. And because he was free, he was free to leave if he wanted to. He could just take that extra step and leave it all behind. He could leave Kurogane's warm embraces and gentle kisses and he could find a life outside this home. Or he could go and find out what had happened to what used to be his home long, long ago. Natsuko, Grandmother, Ashura... everyone who had suffered to keep him alive for some reason. He had no real reason to be here, to be alive. He could just go and die and nobody, except for Kurogane, would mourn him. But Kurogane was so handsome, so strong that he wouldn't need to mourn for too long. He would be able to find another lover, a better lover. A prettier lover. He didn't need to have Fai. A broken, scarred man who would never learn to be freely happy again.

Standing, Fai decided that he would indeed do what he wanted to do. He would just leave. He didn't want to be around Kurogane anymore, it hurt. He wanted to leave, he would. The green fields invited him and though he didn't want to ever hurt Kurogane, he continued walking. The open world, and he no longer a slave, heartened him. He walked slowly, letting his freedom move him. He knew where home was. Home was behind him, where Kurogane waited for him.

The road opened up at the end of Kurogane's land and Fai had to stop. He could keep going and get away. What he would do, he didn't know. He just wanted to walk. To walk away. If he could get away from it all, escape the past he so desperately wanted to forget. Everything was ruined. Everything was spiraling dangerously out of control.

The tears started suddenly. He sobbed gently and turned his head up. He wanted to run away. Run away from it all, but he couldn't. In his head, he understood that. What Kurogane liked, what he professed his love to was a shell. An empty, empty shell of a person nobody's ever heard of before. A pretending phantom of a noble little boy who'd died long ago, burning with the rest of his family.

He walked slowly across the deserted dirt road. He wasn't good enough for Kurogane. The general deserved to have a better lover of a better blood with a purer past. Entering the next field, tall grasses whispered to him. Beckoning and soothing. Large tears welled up in his eyes and the former slave took off in a run.

Fai hadn't been seen all day. Nobody knew where he went. As he was a free man, the guards didn't keep as close an eye on his as they had been, ensuring his impossibility for escape. Kurogane was worried. Fai had never disappeared, never wondered away from him, from their home.

'_Maybe freeing him was a mistake,'_ Kurogane thought slowly. _'Maybe I fell in love with him but he was just doing his part because he's my slave. He was my slave. Maybe freeing him was something he wanted and he's gone back to find someone, something else.'_

"Kurogane, sir!" one of his guards called, running quickly. He stumbled in the middle of the large yard in front of his leader's yard. Kurogane ran to meet the guard, eager to hear good news about his lover. Smiling in embarrassment, the man rose and rubbed his nose. "Sir, we found him. But he won't come home!"

"Just tell me where he's at?" Kurogane asked.

"He's in a field, two fields over in Masoyoshi's field, under his famous tree."

"Thank you!" Kurogane shouted over his shoulder as he ran towards the large cherry blossom tree. The only one of it's kind in the area. He ran as fast as he could, anxious to see Fai, threatening painful punishments for the guard if the wispy blond wasn't at the tree.

And then, then he saw him. His son and his daughter-in-law were gathered around the tree, the large leaves blowing in the wind. There were no blossoms to decorate the air, no pretty pale pink blossoms to entice the eyes. It was just large, green with leafs and beneath it, beneath it was Fai.

He couldn't help himself. Running towards his lover, he cried out happily, "Fai!" shouting between breaths.

The blond sprang to his feet and was running before Kurogane even made it to the tree. Tears danced on the edge of Kurogane's crimson eyes. He couldn't take this, Fai shouldn't be leaving. What was the problem?

Putting on an extra burst of speed, Kurogane hurried after the blond. The grasses whispered as he ran through it, enjoying the peace, thankful for the cool air. Fai was almost to the next field by the time Kurogane had caught up to him.

Throwing himself forward, he tackled the wispy blond to the ground and wrapped his arms possessively around the thin form. He kissed Fai and murmured nonsense words to comfort him and apologize for the rough recapture.

"Please, don't run away again," Kurogane begged.

"You don't deserve something as disgusting as me. Kurogane, let me go. Just let me go. I don't want to be here anymore," Fai pleaded. He struggled futilely against the taller, darker man, tears falling mercilessly from his pale blue eyes.

"What in the hell are you talking about!" Kurogane yelled angrily. "You can't just leave me."

"Why, sir? Why do you want me around you all the time? I'm a whore. A filthy, dirty, disgusting whore who is worth nothing of the love and all the kindness you've given me," Fai whispered. "Just, beat me, make me your whore again, I don't care. At least then I'll have a point in staying alive!"

"Fai…" Kurogane gasped. He didn't know how to answer the man. He wasn't good with words, not the way Tomoyo had been long ago, not the way Syaoran and Sakura were. Not the way Fai was.

The blond lay beneath him, his head turned towards the tree and tears pouring from his closed eyes. He truly, truly expected to be beaten. Almost a year spent in Kurogane's arms, with him, and he still expected to be beaten.

"You can't leave me. I love you, I love you even if you are a whore. I love the blond man who has been living in my home for almost a year. I love you."

"No you don't. You don't. You don't know me. You don't know who I was, who I really am, what I want. You just know the whore you bought and slept with," Fai murmured spitefully.

"Well, tell me about you."

"You see that tree? It's a cherry tree. Before I was a slave, we had a bunch in our front yard. Me and Ashura, my brother, would go out and play in them. We would play monkey tag. When I was six years old they came and destroyed everything. They killed my mother and my father. They killed Ashura and my best friend and her grandmother betrayed me, they sold me into slavery. They burned my home and chopped the trees down. I've never liked them since. Ever."

"What made you stop at this one then?"

"I tried tearing it down, but how can I kill a tree if I have no tools?" Fai laughed angrily.

"Come home with me Fai. Come home with me," Kurogane pleaded.

"Why? So you can make me your slave again? So you can tell me how stupid I am? Lock me away and punish me."

"I would never. I've never," Kurogane fumbled for words. "I've never done anything to hurt you."

"It's only a matter of time," Fai whispered.

"No. I don't want you to leave. Come home with me. Come back home with me. I'll clean you up and then you can tell me about yourself. Tell me about what's happened to you."

"I don't have to if I don't want to, you know? You freed me, you let me be a free man."

"I did. So I can't force you to come back home. But I can ask you and I can wait for you."

"You would wait for me?"

"I would wait as long as I have to for you to come back to me," Kurogane whispered. "I'm going back to the house. I want you to come with me."

"You still want me to be with you? To be around you even though I've been such an ass to you? Even though I've done nothing but cause you trouble and make you worry and depend on you. How? How can you still want me around? I've done everything I could think of to make you forget about me. To make you want to be glad I'm gone," Fai whimpered, wrapping his arms around Kurogane's neck.

"I love you. I'm never going to be glad your gone. I'm going to miss you when your gone," Kurogane whispered, pulling the waif into his lap, holding him close.

"I love you, but I don't want to hurt you."

"This little stunt hurt me. I thought you'd left without telling me and then I would never see you again. I didn't know what to think," Kurogane whispered, kissing the blonds forehead.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Fai repeated over and over.

"It's okay. I forgive you. Just, don't leave me again."

"I promise, sir."

"You don't have to call me sir," Kurogane repeated softly.

Fai whimpered as Kurogane crawled over his prone form. The warrior moved with a deceptive grace and was positively delicious as he stalked up his lover's naked body. The thin man wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck and groaned softly as he pressed his hardened flesh against Kurogane.

"Never… never leave me," Kurogane panted as he slid a moistened finger into his lover's tight entrance.

"N-never," Fai promised. He wrapped his knees around Kurogane's waist and whispered, "P-please."

"Are you sure?" Kurogane asked. "It's only one finger," he murmured.

"I d-don't care. I want to feel you… I want you in me," Fai begged.

"I love you Fai," Kurogane whispered, pulling his finger out of the entrance. "I don't want to hurt you, but…"

Kurogane smiled before placing his lips on Fai's. The blond thrust his tongue into Kurogane's mouth and moaned as the other pressed his length against Fai's opening. He pushed into the tight opening and Fai raised his hips, pressing his body against Kurogane's, moaning as he moved along the hardened shaft.

Kurogane wrapped a large hand around Fai's length and pumped in time with his thrusts. Fai arched his back and threw his head back as Kurogane sucked at his neck, leaving a mark that he was claimed, that he belonged to him. Freely, chosen to belong to him.

Kurogane shivered as he climaxed within his lovers tight opening. Moaning, he pushed into Fai one last time before pressing his lips against Fai's. Pulling out of his smaller lover, he smiled seductively before moving lower to wrap his lips around Fai. He sucked in and lowered his mouth along Fai's shaft. Pulling his head up, he let his tongue slide over the tip of his lover's head before sliding his mouth down again, swallowing as he felt the tip hit the back of his throat.

Fai moaned as pleasure shot through him, his climax so close. "Kuro… Kurogane," he whimpered, bucking his hips as Kurogane pulled his head back and sucked gently on the head. Fai moaned and tangled his hands in the short dark hair, gasping in pleasure as he came.

"Mmm, so tasty," Kurogane murmured, stalking up the body of his prone lover. "Your delicious."

"I love you," Fai whispered, pleasure still coursing through him. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's thick body and snuggled close to him.

"I love you Fai. And I'll always love you. Don't you ever leave me again," he whispered, pulling the thin man close to him again. He smiled and laid down, happy that his home was full, complete and happy.

_I'm flying without wings, And that's the joy you bring, I'm flying without wings_

_end._

_a/n: thank you for reading, please read and review, I would appreciate it greatly! and a huge thank you to youkai for all the help you've given me. I appreciate everything and without you this wouldn't be here… :D_


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